Why Dating Matters | RIOT Podcast Ep 119 | Christian Podcast

About this Episode

Why Dating Matters is what will be discussing today, with our special guest, on RIOT Podcast, a Christian Discipleship Podcast

In honor of Valentine's Day this week in the United States, we thought we'd do a show about ways to date your spouse or, for those who are single, your girlfriend or boyfriend. When most people think of "dating," they envision pre-engagement fun filled with long talks, throbbing hearts, and flower bouquets. But, who says it has to end after engagement "or, for that matter, after marriage?

What is the purpose of dating? “A purpose”, according to Merriam Webster, is "something set up as an object or end to be attained." A purpose defines the ultimate goal, destination, or intended outcome of an action.

If your ultimate goal is having a great relationship, then dating should be a part of your purpose. While Christ-centered intimacy is the great prize in marriage, Christ-centered clarity is the great prize in dating. In the context of marriage between man and woman, intimacy is the safest, and marriage is safest in the context of clarity. We must date to get married and date to stay married if we want to have and enjoy a Christ-centered intimacy

If “Clarity” is Gods truth on everything, then our ultimate purpose is “to glorify God and to enjoy him forever,” Colossians 3:17 says, “every part of us should be striving toward this end.” In order to glorify God in our marriage we must first and foremost grow in our holiness together. Humans are created for relationship (Genesis 2:18), and it’s in this context of connecting and clashing with other sinners that God frequently makes us aware of our sin. What does that mean exactly?

Dating is a time to get to know each other better, to focus on how we can elevate one another.
If you are not married and you want to grow in Holiness together, practice self-discipline by setting and keeping boundaries.
Always show compassion and forgiveness toward each other.
Practice patience with each other and look for ways to complement each other.
Display the gospel to others through your relationship, be a light to others.

LEARN TO LOVE To grow in Holiness together is hard to do if you don’t know how to love each other as Christ love us. This “love” is different from the kind you’re referring to when you say “I love you” for the first time. Rather, it’s the selfless, sacrificial love we are commanded to show to everyone as believers (Mark 12:30-31).

The longer you date someone, the more you’ll know how to love them really well. You learn their love language. For instance, like how hugs make them happy, so you go out of your way to give them a quick embrace before anything else happens in the date. Learn their love languages and sacrifice what you want first to focus on them. If you both do this the date will be unbelievable.

What are the love languages? Time, Touch, Words, gifts, service

MAKE TIME...No Matter What. Hebrews 10:24-25 “24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

The first step to dating your spouse is commitment. Always plan one date a week, you don’t have to be stuck on a certain day unless your schedule demands it. The bottom line is to make it a priority, not an every once in a while, sort of thing.

HAVE GOOD TALKS James 1:19-20 tells us that “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Don’t just talk to talk, but make it a point while dating to have fruitful meaningful talks, ask positive questions and listen. Creating space for healthy communication is important! Dates are the perfect opportunity for you and your spouse to reconnect. Spend time talking so that you can keep acquainted and stay in touch with each other’s lives!

GET-CREATIVE- Colossians 3:23, ‘Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.” Romans 12:6, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.”

MAKE ERRANDS INTO DATES- Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

A relationship is stronger when they work together, but it’s even stronger when they have God as their leader. Obviously, there is a time we should date without doing errands together but, why not go to the store together, have fun, and adjust your schedule to just hang out.

BE OK WITH CHEAP Even if you’re rich. A common misconception is that quality romance has to be expensive. Let’s throw out that idea right now. Sure, we may be able to afford bouquets of roses and diamond jewelry, but handmade notes and picnic dinners can be just as sweet! Always walk in the Spirit, our money is not our own, but God's. Proverbs 3:9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce.

BE ACTIVE TOGETHER- 1 Cor 6:19-20, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Cor 3:16-17 Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.

BE SEXY TOGETHER- There are a lot of Bible verses that talk about being beautiful “The girl had a beautiful figure and was lovely to look at.” Esther 2:7. Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.” Song of Solomon Chapter 4: 3. Bottom line is to make yourself look good to your partner.

DO OVERNIGHT DATES- Do weekend trips together, or for one night. Make it fun and do it often. Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.